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Bumper Sticker Philosophy, Signs Of The Times Jokes

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Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

OK, so what's the speed of dark?

How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

24 hours in a day... 24 beers in a case... coincidence? I think NOT!

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Change is inevitable... except from vending machines.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Half the people you know are below average.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

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InspirationalNursing.com:"InspirationalNursing.com. Touching Poems, and Inspiring stories that touch the heart and occasionally bring a tear to your eye. Affection, Ambition, Angels In Our Lives, Animals, Babies, Bereavement, Caring, Caring, Children, Christian Stories, Christmas, Computers & The Internet, Death, Dependability, Determination, Dying, Easter, Emergency Medical Services (EMS), End of Life, Etc., Friendship, God's Creatures, Grief, Holiday Thoughts, Honesty, Hospice Poems, etc."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

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Jocularity.com (Former home to the Journal of Nursing Jocularity (JNJ)):"Nursing & Medical Humor. Find hundreds of jokes and links to sites that will make you smile. Therapeutic Humor Associations, Battle of the Sexes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Brain Teasers, Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links, Dental Humor, Emergency Department Humor, General Nursing Humor, Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, etc."
http://www.jocularity.com

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Legalnursingconsultant.org:"This website is intended to be a resource for Legal Nurse Consultants, Attorneys looking to use their services, and nurses looking to enter the field of Legal Nurse Consulting. On our site you'll find a directory of LNCs by state and specialty."
http://www.legalnursingconsultant.org

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Nursefriendly.com:"Nationwide Nursing Resources: In this Nursing Portal you'll find information on Nursing Jobs, Nursing Schools, Nurse Degrees, LPNs, RNs, APNs, Nursing Associations and much more."
http://www.nursefriendly.com

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Nursinga2z.com:"It is our intent for this Alphabetical, A to Z index to be a comprehensive listing (In Progress) of Nursing-related resources on the Internet. It is indexed by Google and fully searchable."
http://www.nursinga2z.com

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Nursingdiabetics.com:"Welcome to NursingDiabetics.com. Here you will find information on all aspects of Diabetes, a disease that afflicts millions of people world wide. I'll be adding pages as fast as I can research the information so remember to bookmark this page and return."
http://www.nursingdiabetics.com

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Nursingdiscussions.com:"This website will be a portal to Nursing Discussion boards throughout the Web. If your site has a discussion board we don't have listed here, please contact us."
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com

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Nursingentrepreneurs.com:"Nationwide Nursing resource to nurse entrepreneurs looking to nework and start home based businesses. On it you will find links to small and large business related resources."
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com

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Nursinghumor.com:"Nursing & Medical Humor. Find hundreds of jokes and links to sites that will make you smile. Therapeutic Humor Associations, Battle of the Sexes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Brain Teasers, Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links, Dental Humor, Emergency Department Humor, General Nursing Humor, Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, etc."
http://www.nursinghumor.com

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Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Saturday, October 1, 2011


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