Nursing & Healthcare Directories on: The Nursefriendly
Psychiatric Hotline, Mental Health Humor, Psychiatric Jokes

The Shortcut URL To This Section Is: http://www.nursinghumor.com/hotline/

Our Joke Archives Are Available for Download, Click here For More info
See Also: Brain Teasers, Casinos, Gaming, Dating, Internet Personals, Free Stuff, Freebies, Inspirational Stories, Smiles, Online Concerts, Ticket Sales & Tickets, Travel Agencies

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Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth and mother's maiden name

If you are anal retentive, please hold.

If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.

If you have bipolar disorder, please leave message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the Mother Ship.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up now. All our operators are too busy to talk to you."

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fiddle with the * key until a representative comes on the line.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.

If you are phobic, don't press anything.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.

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4nursing.com:"In this Nursing Portal you'll find information on Nursing Jobs, Nursing Schools, Nurse Degrees, CNAs, LPNs, RNs, Travel Nursing, Prescriptions Drugs, Medications, Nursing Associations and much more."
http://www.4nursing.com

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InspirationalNursing.com:"InspirationalNursing.com. Touching Poems, and Inspiring stories that touch the heart and occasionally bring a tear to your eye. Affection, Ambition, Angels In Our Lives, Animals, Babies, Bereavement, Caring, Caring, Children, Christian Stories, Christmas, Computers & The Internet, Death, Dependability, Determination, Dying, Easter, Emergency Medical Services (EMS), End of Life, Etc., Friendship, God's Creatures, Grief, Holiday Thoughts, Honesty, Hospice Poems, etc."
http://www.inspirationalnursing.com

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Jocularity.com (Former home to the Journal of Nursing Jocularity (JNJ)):"Nursing & Medical Humor. Find hundreds of jokes and links to sites that will make you smile. Therapeutic Humor Associations, Battle of the Sexes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Brain Teasers, Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links, Dental Humor, Emergency Department Humor, General Nursing Humor, Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, etc."
http://www.jocularity.com

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Legalnursingconsultant.org:"This website is intended to be a resource for Legal Nurse Consultants, Attorneys looking to use their services, and nurses looking to enter the field of Legal Nurse Consulting. On our site you'll find a directory of LNCs by state and specialty."
http://www.legalnursingconsultant.org

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Nursefriendly.com:"Nationwide Nursing Resources: In this Nursing Portal you'll find information on Nursing Jobs, Nursing Schools, Nurse Degrees, LPNs, RNs, APNs, Nursing Associations and much more."
http://www.nursefriendly.com

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Nursinga2z.com:"It is our intent for this Alphabetical, A to Z index to be a comprehensive listing (In Progress) of Nursing-related resources on the Internet. It is indexed by Google and fully searchable."
http://www.nursinga2z.com

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Nursingdiabetics.com:"Welcome to NursingDiabetics.com. Here you will find information on all aspects of Diabetes, a disease that afflicts millions of people world wide. I'll be adding pages as fast as I can research the information so remember to bookmark this page and return."
http://www.nursingdiabetics.com

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Nursingdiscussions.com:"This website will be a portal to Nursing Discussion boards throughout the Web. If your site has a discussion board we don't have listed here, please contact us."
http://www.nursingdiscussions.com

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Nursingentrepreneurs.com:"Nationwide Nursing resource to nurse entrepreneurs looking to nework and start home based businesses. On it you will find links to small and large business related resources."
http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com

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Nursinghumor.com:"Nursing & Medical Humor. Find hundreds of jokes and links to sites that will make you smile. Therapeutic Humor Associations, Battle of the Sexes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Brain Teasers, Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links, Dental Humor, Emergency Department Humor, General Nursing Humor, Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, etc."
http://www.nursinghumor.com

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4nursinguniforms.com:"Choose from Top Nursing Uniform Companies. All sizes, styles and popular name brands available. Large selection of accessories as well: Accessories Blood Pressure Cuffs, Sphygnomanometers Nursing Tote Bags, Carry-Ons, Medical Bags Clinical, Medical Supplies, Nurses Discount Outlet: Angels, Books, Clothing , Equipment, Figurines, Holidays, Home Decor, Jewelry, Nurses, Office Decor, Scrubs, Shoes, T-Shirts Footwear, Shoes, Sandals, Discount, Bargains Gifts For Nurses (Nurses Week) Hosiery, Socks, Stockings Hats, Jackets, Jumpers Jewelry, Earrings, Necklaces, Watches Luxury Spas, Facials, Manicures, Pedicures Perfumes, Fragrances, Phermones Shoes, Boots, Sandals, Footwear, High Heels, Slippers Stethescopes, Nurse Kits, Replacement Parts Swimwear (Tan-Through) Women's Lingerie "
4nursinguniforms.com

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Nursing Chat, Nurse Discussion Forums:
http://nursingdiscussions.com

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Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Saturday, October 1, 2011


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