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****************************************************** Declaring diabetes mellitus non-existent, managed care companies nation-wide have managed to wipe out diabetes throughout the United States, It was announced today. It was explained that any patient insisting that they have diabetes will be re-diagnosed as having paranoia, and hence will be ineligible for medical care, as mental health benefits are essentially nonexistent in most managed care plans. The insurance industry also announced that their pre-existing policy of refusing to reimburse for syringes or blood glucose test strips, and discouraging patients' Primary Care Physicians from referring to endocrinologists, has been "totally vindicated." An estimated three hundred endocrinologists were seen lining up to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco; there were unheard-of upsurges in bookings for flights to San Francisco noted by airlines nationally. The San Francisco Tourism Agency announced that it encourages all endocrinologists to spend their final vacation in their city, before taking the plunge. According to an anonymous spokesman for a major managed care company, it is expected that curing diabetes, and terminating contracts with deceased endocrinologists, will allow approximately 57 more insurance company executives to claim 6-figure bonuses at the end of the current Fiscal Year, while only resulting in an additional 15 minutes loss of sleep per night for the average Primary Care Physician, and only an estimated 2,000,000 covered lives to become uncovered deaths. You may feel free to forward or reproduce this satire, provided you include the following copyright notice: Copyright © 1997 by the Midwest Diabetes Care Center, Inc. ****************************************************** ****************************************************** Health Maintenance Humor, Jokes on The Nursefriendly. http://www.nursinghumor.com/humor/health.maintenance.organization.hmo.humor.htm Three Doctors Die And Go To Heaven: The Top 10 Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO Friendship Help Plan: Welcome to Managed Caring(tm), a whole new way of thinking about friendship. The Managed Caring Plan(tm) combines all the advantages of a "traditional" friendship network with important cost-saving features http://www.hmopage.org/friendship.html Haiku on Managed Care and Self-Determination: From John Agosta of the Human Services Research Institute http://www.mcare.net/haiku.html HMO Question And Answer Humor: http://www.hmopage.org/definition.html Hospital Cost Containment: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/97/Mar/cutbacks.html Managed Care Meets the Symphony: http://dacc.bsd.uchicago.edu/humor/symphony.html Managed Care Jokes: Jokes, cartoons and humor about our evolving health care industry. http://www.ncpamd.com/mcjokes.htm# MC MD - Adventures in Managed Care: http://members.aol.com/mcmdcomic/index.htm Medical Humor High Insurance Cost (cartoon) by Carl Elbing, ICU Nurse: http://www.nurstoon.com/leach.html Nursery Tale: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/95q1/hmonurse.html Sam I Am -- The Insurance Man: by Ronald Bronow, M.D. http://www.hmopage.org/sam.html ****************************************************** ****************************************************** For Health Information you can use, Follow, Connect, Like us on Facebook, Google Plus, LinkedIn,Twitter, etc. (Most Invites Accepted): http://www.nursefriendly.com/social/: Google Plus (if you're not a member, e-mail me for an invite)-info@nursefriendly.com http://www.nursefriendly.com/google/ See What's New 4nursing.com:"In this Nursing Portal you'll find information on Nursing Jobs, Nursing Schools, Nurse Degrees, CNAs, LPNs, RNs, Travel Nursing, Prescriptions Drugs, Medications, Nursing Associations and much more." http://www.4nursing.com ****************************************************** InspirationalNursing.com:"InspirationalNursing.com. Touching Poems, and Inspiring stories that touch the heart and occasionally bring a tear to your eye. Affection, Ambition, Angels In Our Lives, Animals, Babies, Bereavement, Caring, Caring, Children, Christian Stories, Christmas, Computers & The Internet, Death, Dependability, Determination, Dying, Easter, Emergency Medical Services (EMS), End of Life, Etc., Friendship, God's Creatures, Grief, Holiday Thoughts, Honesty, Hospice Poems, etc." http://www.inspirationalnursing.com ****************************************************** Jocularity.com (Former home to the Journal of Nursing Jocularity (JNJ)):"Nursing & Medical Humor. Find hundreds of jokes and links to sites that will make you smile. Therapeutic Humor Associations, Battle of the Sexes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Brain Teasers, Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links, Dental Humor, Emergency Department Humor, General Nursing Humor, Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, etc." http://www.jocularity.com ****************************************************** Legalnursingconsultant.org:"This website is intended to be a resource for Legal Nurse Consultants, Attorneys looking to use their services, and nurses looking to enter the field of Legal Nurse Consulting. On our site you'll find a directory of LNCs by state and specialty." http://www.legalnursingconsultant.org ****************************************************** Nursefriendly.com:"Nationwide Nursing Resources: In this Nursing Portal you'll find information on Nursing Jobs, Nursing Schools, Nurse Degrees, LPNs, RNs, APNs, Nursing Associations and much more." http://www.nursefriendly.com ****************************************************** Nursinga2z.com:"It is our intent for this Alphabetical, A to Z index to be a comprehensive listing (In Progress) of Nursing-related resources on the Internet. It is indexed by Google and fully searchable." http://www.nursinga2z.com ****************************************************** Nursingdiabetics.com:"Welcome to NursingDiabetics.com. Here you will find information on all aspects of Diabetes, a disease that afflicts millions of people world wide. I'll be adding pages as fast as I can research the information so remember to bookmark this page and return." http://www.nursingdiabetics.com ****************************************************** Nursingdiscussions.com:"This website will be a portal to Nursing Discussion boards throughout the Web. If your site has a discussion board we don't have listed here, please contact us." http://www.nursingdiscussions.com ****************************************************** Nursingentrepreneurs.com:"Nationwide Nursing resource to nurse entrepreneurs looking to nework and start home based businesses. On it you will find links to small and large business related resources." http://www.nursingentrepreneurs.com ****************************************************** Nursinghumor.com:"Nursing & Medical Humor. Find hundreds of jokes and links to sites that will make you smile. Therapeutic Humor Associations, Battle of the Sexes, Bedside Nursing Humor, Brain Teasers, Clowning, Clowns, Therapeutic Humor & Comedy Links, Dental Humor, Emergency Department Humor, General Nursing Humor, Geriatrics, Senior Citizen, etc." http://www.nursinghumor.com ****************************************************** ****************************************************** If your website is not listed here, we encourage you to submit it: Add Your Website/URL. See also: Nursing Topics, A to Z: Nursing Degrees, LPN-RN, RN-BSN, RN-MSN, Online/Offline College, University and more!:"Higher income. Career mobility. Now, no matter where you live or what your schedule, you can earn your Associate or Bachelor Degree to take your professional life to the next level — without putting the rest of your life on hold!" 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