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1. During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.
2. He tells you that his last good case was a "Budweiser."
3. When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.
4. He picks the jury by playing "duck-duck-goose."
5. During the trial you catch him playing his Gameboy.
6. He asks a hostile witness to "pull my finger."
7. A prison guard is shaving your head.
8. Every couple of minutes he yells, "I call Jack Daniels to the stand!" and proceeds to drink a shot.
9. He frequently gives juror No. 4 the finger.
10. He places a large "No Refunds" sign on the defense table.
11. He begins closing arguments with, "As Ally McBeal once said ..."
12. He keeps citing the legal case of Godzilla v. Mothra.
13. Just before trial starts he whispers, "The judge is the one with the little hammer, right?"
14. Just before he says "Your Honor," he makes those little quotation marks in the air with his fingers.
15. The sign in front of his law office reads "Practicing Law Since 2:25 PM."
16. Whenever his objection is overruled, he tells the judge, "Whatever."
17. He giggles every time he hears the word "briefs."
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See also:
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Questions At The Pearly Gates , Lawyer Jokes, Going To Heaven Humorhttp://www.nursinghumor.com/
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Padded Bills , Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humorhttp://www.nursinghumor.com/padded
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Lawyer's Fees , Attorney Jokes, Legal Humorhttp://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes.lawyers.fees.htm
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Here Lies A Lawyer, And An Honest Man , Attorney Humor, Lawyer & Legal Jokeshttp://www.nursinghumor.com/honest
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Two Plus Two Is? Attorneys Jokes, Legal Humorhttp://www.nursinghumor.com/four
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The Pope and The Lawyer At The Pearly Gates, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/the.pope.and.a.lawyer.in.heaven.htm
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About What Daddy Does,
http://www.nursinghumor.com/does
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A Pound of Brain, Lawyer's Jokes, Attorney Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/brain
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How Much Do You Charge? :http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/attorney.rates.how.much.do.you.charge.htm
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A Question of Trust, Lawyers Jokes, Attorney Humor :http://www.nursinghumor.com/trust
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Lawyer's Q & A :
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The Spinster's Will, Lawyers, Attorneys & Legal Jokes & Humor :http://www.nursinghumor.com/will
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You Might Be A . . . . If "
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Last updated by Andrew
Lopez, RN on Saturday, October 1, 2011
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