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****************************************************** The 10 (+) Rules Of EMS, First Responder Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Skin signs tell all. 2. Sick people don't bitch. 3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing." http://www.nursinghumor.com/ems ****************************************************** A Cost Saving Memo, Managed Care (HMOs) Jokes & Humor:"Effective immediately, this hospital will no longer provide security. Each Charge Nurse will be issued with a .38 caliber revolver and 12 rounds of ammunition. An additional 12 rounds will be stored in the pharmacy. In addition to routine nursing duties, Charge Nurses will patrol the hospital grounds 3 times each shift. In light of the similarity of monitoring equipment, the Critical Care Units will now assume security surveillance duties. The unit secretary will be responsible for watching cardiac and security monitors, as well as continuing previous secretarial duties." http://www.nursinghumor.com/memo ****************************************************** A Cure For Migraines, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to the doctor and complains that no medicine helps with his migraines. "When I have a migraine," says the doctor, "I go home and soak in a hot bath." http://www.nursinghumor.com/migraines ****************************************************** A Cure For One Man's Cough, Medical Jokes, Drug & Pharmacy Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/cough/ ****************************************************** A Cure For One Man's Stuttering: http://www.nursinghumor.com/cure ****************************************************** A Dark and Stormy Night, Parenting Jokes, Childrens Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/stormy ****************************************************** A Difficult Extraction, Dentists Jokes, Dental Humor:"The dentist was striving to extract a tooth, but every time he got ready to proceed, the patient clamped his jaws." http://www.nursinghumor.com/extraction ****************************************************** A Grandmother's Insomnia, Doctor's Jokes, Pregnancy & Medications Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/insomnia ****************************************************** A Man, His Wife, and The Cop, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A man seeing flashing red and blue lights in his rearview mirror pulls to the side of the road. A minute or so after coming to a stop, a police officer approaches the car. The man says, "What's the problem officer?" http://www.nursinghumor.com/cop ****************************************************** A Man's Guide To Nurses, It's Hard To Live With A Nurse, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"Anyone who lived through the early seventies or has made it a point to rent such famous videos as "Night Duty Nurses" or "Student Nurses" or "Night Duty Student Nurses" or any one of several dozen nurse-centric skin flicks will be immediately struck by the fact that all nurses have heaving bosoms, just millimeters away from popping out of skin tight white uniforms. You will also learn that nurses always wear white garters and hose and high heels." http://www.nursinghumor.com/mans ****************************************************** A "Plumbing" Problem. Medical Jokes, Patient Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/plumbing This Link is located on our Medical Jokes, Patient Humor section http://www.nursinghumor.com ****************************************************** A Question of Trust, Lawyers Jokes, Attorney Humor:" A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial... Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away." http://www.nursinghumor.com/trust ****************************************************** A Routine Physical, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor:"A man goes to a doctor for a routine physical. The nurse starts with the basics. "How much do you weigh?" she asks." http://www.nursinghumor.com/physical ****************************************************** A Short History of Medicine, Medical & Healthcare Jokes, Humor:"2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root. 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer." http://www.nursinghumor.com/short ****************************************************** A Small Prick, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor:"About a week ago I broke my ankle (in three places) and was in the hospital for several days. My first night in the hospital, after having surgery to rejoin my bones with pins and plates and such, I was in a great deal of pain and quite immobile." http://www.nursinghumor.com/prick ****************************************************** A Woman's Random Thoughts, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Getting Older Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/random ****************************************************** A Work of Art, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"There was a world famous painter who, in the prime of her career, started losing her eyesight. Fearful that she might lose her life as a painter, she went to see the best eye surgeon in the world." http://www.nursinghumor.com/work ****************************************************** Able To Play? Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands." http://www.nursinghumor.com/play ****************************************************** About What Daddy Does, Lawyers Jokes, Attorney Humor:"A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?" Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor." http://www.nursinghumor.com/does ****************************************************** Actual Medical Quotes From Patient Charts, Medical Jokes, Physican Humor:"1. She has no rigors or shaking chills , but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night. 2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. 3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared." http://www.nursinghumor.com/charts ****************************************************** The Adopted, Parenting Jokes, Adoption Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/adopted ****************************************************** Al's Wedding-related jokes and one-liners:"This marriage jokes list started as just a collection of amusing (to me, at least) odds and ends which would catch my eye from time to time. This collection was born when I decided to focus on marriage/relationship/battle-of-the-sexes items. (You should see the items I left out!) With some creativity, many of the items on these pages could be worked into a wedding reception speech. Using some of them in speeches will require more creativity (or courage) than others. Sensitive souls may find some of the material rather raw." http://alsmusic.com/jokes/ ****************************************************** Anal Deodorant, Pharmacy Jokes, Patient Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/deodorant ****************************************************** Answers To Fifth Grade Science Exams, Children's Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/answers ****************************************************** Anyone For Pasta, Medical Jokes, Marriage & Infidelity Humor:"A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there." http://www.nursinghumor.com/pasta ****************************************************** Are You a Graduate Nurse or an Experienced Nurse? Bedside Nursing Jokes, Hospital Humor:"A Graduate Nurse throws up when the patient does. An experienced nurse calls housekeeping when a patient throws up." http://www.nursinghumor.com/graduate ****************************************************** Are You Hungry, Intravenous Therapy, IV Jokes & Humor:"A guy wakes up in the hospital. A nurse comes in and says, "Don't try to talk. You were in a car accident, and your jaw was badly broken. A surgeon fixed it and wired it shut, and you won't be able to open your mouth for at least 5 weeks." http://www.nursinghumor.com/hungry ****************************************************** Are You Insane? Psychiatric Jokes, Mental Health Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/insane ****************************************************** Are You The Manager? Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Bartender Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/manager ****************************************************** Attitude Adjustment, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/attitude ****************************************************** Auto Enthusiast, Surgeon Jokes, Medical Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/auto ****************************************************** Autopsy Cross Examination, Legal Jokes, Malpractice Humor:"Attorney: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? Witness: No. Attorney: Did you check for blood pressure? Witness: No." http://www.nursinghumor.com/autopsy ****************************************************** Baby Names, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Obstetrics Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/baby ****************************************************** Bar Monkey, Pet Jokes, Animal Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/monkey ****************************************************** Before And After Love, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:"BEFORE - You take my breath away AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating." http://www.nursinghumor.com/before ****************************************************** Blind Drunk, Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/drunk ****************************************************** Brand New Hat, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:"There was a little old lady standing at a corner. She had both hands holding her hat on while the wind blew her dress up around her waist." http://www.nursinghumor.com/hat ****************************************************** Breastfeeding Technical Support, Medical Jokes, Obstetrics Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/breastfeeding ****************************************************** BridalZine, Wedding Humor:"Lets face it, getting married is serious stuff! Check here often for a look at the lighter side of getting married. Don't forget to Bookmark! Our staff has a habit of finding humor in the most serious of subjects, MATRIMONY. From tips on old traditions to jokes and quotes that will have you rolling down the aisle. The staff at BridalZine knows how to relieve your stress...LAUGHTER." http://www.bridalzine.com/bzhumor.html ****************************************************** Bumper Sticker Philosophy, Signs Of The Times Jokes:"Black holes are where God divided by zero. All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand. Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met." http://www.nursinghumor.com/philosophy ****************************************************** Buying Condoms, Pharmacy Jokes, Infidelity Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/condoms ****************************************************** Caffeine Is My Shepherd, Bedside Nursing Humor, Employment Jokes http://www.nursinghumor.com/caffeine ****************************************************** Charge Nurse & The Genie Who Granted Three Wishes: http://www.nursinghumor.com/charge/ ****************************************************** Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged: http://www.nursinghumor.com/carols ****************************************************** Christmas Party Blow-Out, Marriage Jokes, Employment Humor:"After the annual office Christmas party blow-out, John woke up with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed, and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening." http://www.nursinghumor.com/party ****************************************************** Clean Bill of Health, Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/clean ****************************************************** Come Quick! Medical Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/quick ****************************************************** Coming Prepared, Pharmacist Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/prepared ****************************************************** Concerned Mother, Psychiatric Jokes, Prescription Drug Humor:"The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." http://www.nursinghumor.com/concerned ****************************************************** Condom Use, Parenting Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/use ****************************************************** Contraceptive Jelly, Birth Control Jokes, Patient Education Humor:"A young girl is getting married, so she goes to her doctor to find out which contraceptive she should use. After a lengthy discussion with him she decides on the diaphragm." http://www.nursinghumor.com/jelly ****************************************************** Cost of A Screw, Medical Jokes, Operating Room, Surgical Humor:"A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it." http://www.nursinghumor.com/screw ****************************************************** Cranky Chick: EMS Archives:"I once worked a night shift with a paramedic who, when referencing the mapbook to navigate our ambulance to an emergency, began striking himself in the head with the book when he became overcome with the stress of having to tell me how to get to our call. These are heavy, THICK notebooks with pages and pages of maps representing every corner of the county inside. Over and over, he kept striking himself in the forehead with the book, chastising himself with, "Think, damnit! Think!" http://www.crankychick.net/blog/weblog/archives/cat_ems.html ****************************************************** Creation of Man, Adam & Eve Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor:"Eve was talking with God in the Garden of Eden, and she said, "God I have a problem. It's a beautiful garden, but I'm lonely and I'm sick of eating apples." "Okay. I'll create a man for you."" http://www.nursinghumor.com/creation ****************************************************** Croak Like a Frog, Children's Jokes, Getting Older Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/croak ****************************************************** Crossmap.com:"Crossmap.com is an organization running since 2000 for the purpose of serving the Christian community as a web portal. We aim to gather the Christian content on the internet and to organize so that it is easily accessible to all Christians. This is done for the greater purpose of winning the internet and to allow it to be used for God's glory. We strive to attain this goal through our system of search engines, directories, and our directly provided Christian content. The corporate headquarters is located in San Francisco, CA:" Crossmap.com 631 Howard St. San Francisco, CA 94104 http://jokes.crossmap.com/ ****************************************************** Cure, Managed Care Jokes, HMO Humor:"A woman went to her Health Maintenance Organization. After about 15 minutes with one of the new doctors, she went screaming down the hall." http://www.jocularity.com/cure ****************************************************** Curse Removal, Elderly Jokes, Marriage/Matrimony Humor:"An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years." http://www.nursinghumor.com/removal ****************************************************** Deathbed Confession, Gallows Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/deathbed ****************************************************** Definitely Warm, Battle of The Sexes Jokes & Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/warm ****************************************************** Dehydration, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:"One afternoon, a man went to his doctor and told him that he hasn't been feeling well lately. The doctor examined the man, left the room, and came back with three different bottles of pills." http://www.nursinghumor.com/dehydration ****************************************************** Didn't Do It, Marriage Jokes, Parenting Humor:"One day a man came home from work to find everything in total disorder. The children were still in their pajamas, playing outside in the mud." http://www.nursinghumor.com/do ****************************************************** Difference Between Doctors & Veterinarians, Medical Jokes, Veterinary Humor:"A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him:" http://www.nursinghumor.com/difference ****************************************************** Divorce Cards, Marriage Jokes, Ending A Marriage Humor:"They need a new line of greeting cards just for divorce...Front of card would say..." http://www.nursinghumor.com/cards ****************************************************** Do You Have A Dentist Appointment Tomorrow Too? Dental Jokes, Gynecology Humor:"One night, as a couple lay down for bed, the husband gently taps his wife on the shoulder and starts rubbing her arm." http://www.nursinghumor.com/too ****************************************************** Docisms, What They Say & What They Really Mean, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor:"This should be taken care of right away I'd planned a trip to Hawaii next month but this is so easy and profitable that I want to fix it before it cures itself." The Shortcut URL To This Section Is: http://www.nursinghumor.com/docisms ****************************************************** Doctor's Visit, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:"A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old." http://www.nursinghumor.com/doctors ****************************************************** DoctorFunnyWoman.com:"The DoctorFunnyWoman.com website is owned and operated by Ayodele Olugbemi,MD (pseudonym: Adele Obemi). A physician with specialist training in Family practice and Ob/Gyn, she has a special interest in women's and children's health. A member of the Royal College of Obstetricians & Gynaecologists as well as the Royal College of General Practitioners (of the United Kingdom), she holds a Diploma in Child Health and a Diploma of the Faculty of Family Planning (UK) and is a Diplomate of the American Board of Family Practice." doctorfunnywoman@hotmail.com http://www.doctorfunnywoman.com ****************************************************** Drawing God, Out of The Mouth's of Babes Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/drawing ****************************************************** Eating Ants, Emergency Room Jokes, Medical Humor:"A medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. One day, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants." http://www.nursinghumor.com/ants ****************************************************** Eating Grass, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor:"One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate." http://www.nursinghumor.com/eating ****************************************************** Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter:"When I was in high school I used to be terrified of my girlfriend's father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter's chest. He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds." http://www.nursinghumor.com/simple ****************************************************** Embarassing Situation, Bar Jokes, Drinking Humor:"A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar." http://www.nursinghumor.com/situation ****************************************************** Employment Humor, On the Job Jokes, Funny Signs:"Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents? Beauty Shop: Dye now!Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." http://www.nursinghumor.com/signs ****************************************************** Exam Professionalism, Medical Jokes, Doctor's Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window." http://www.nursinghumor.com/exam ****************************************************** Excess Weight, Medical Jokes, Obesity Humor:"Well, Jonathan, what are you going to do about the excess weight you're carrying around," the doctor asked." http://www.nursinghumor.com/weight ****************************************************** Expecting Twins, Blonde Jokes, Pregnancy Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/twins ****************************************************** Eye Surgery, Operating Room Jokes, Medical Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/eye ****************************************************** Feed Him Toast, Pediatrics Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor." http://www.nursinghumor.com/feed ****************************************************** Feel Like A Woman, Marriage Jokes, Parenting Humor:"A passenger plane on a cross-country trip runs into a terrible storm. The plane gets pounded by rain, hail, wind and lightning. The passengers are screaming. They are sure the plane is going to crash and that they are all going to die." http://www.nursinghumor.com/feel ****************************************************** Feeling Exhausted, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/exhausted ****************************************************** Fine Art, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/art ****************************************************** Firm Advice, Psychiatric Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/advice ****************************************************** First Proctology Exam, Medical Humor, Doctors Jokes:The doctor told him to have a seat in the well air-conditioned examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down in the examination room, he noticed that there were three items on a stand next to the doctor's desk: a tube of K-Y jelly, a rubber glove, and a beer." http://www.nursinghumor.com/proctology ****************************************************** Five Doctors Go Duck Hunting:"Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a general practice (GP) physician, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist." http://www.nursinghumor.com/duck ****************************************************** Following Doctor's Orders, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor:"On a busy Med/Surg floor the doctor stops the nurse to brief her on a patient's condition. "This patient is a fellow physician and my favorite golf partner. His injury is serious and I fear he will not be able to play golf again unless you follow my orders exacty." The doctor then began listing orders:" http://www.nursinghumor.com/orders ****************************************************** Four Expectant Fathers, Pregnancy Jokes, Labor & Delivery, Obstetrics Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/fathers ****************************************************** Funny Comments found in Medical Records:"By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year. On the second day the knee was better and on third day it had completely disappeared." http://www.nursinghumor.com/funny ****************************************************** Funny Signs, On the Job Jokes, Employment Humor:"Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents? Beauty Shop: Dye now!Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." http://www.nursinghumor.com/signs ****************************************************** Generation Gap, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Parenting Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.generation.gap.htm ****************************************************** Getting Even, Nursing Jokes, Physician Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/getting/ ****************************************************** Going Blind, Psychiatric Jokes, Medical Humor:"Jon and Dave were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest, picking two of the best patients and giving them two questions. If they got them correct, they're deemed cured and free to go." http://www.nursinghumor.com/psych ****************************************************** Going To Operate, Medical Jokes, Operating Room (OR) Humor:"When his auto mechanic came in for an operation, Dr. Grimley couldn't help but take the opportunity to turn the tables on him." http://www.nursinghumor.com/going ****************************************************** Happy Easter, Holiday Smiles: http://www.nursinghumor.com/easter ****************************************************** He's Not Moving, On The Job Jokes, First Aid Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/moving ****************************************************** Hiking Money, Marriage Jokes, Infidelity Humor, 4Nursing.com: http://www.nursinghumor.com/hiking ****************************************************** HMO Blues, Nursing Jokes, Managed Care (HMO) Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/blues ****************************************************** HMO Physician Recruitment Pre-Qualification Form, Medical Jokes & Nursing Humor:"1. Are you an MD or DO? (if not, do you look a lot like one?) 2. Your annual salary should be based on which factor? A. Age B. Experience C. Number of privately insured patients referred to hospital in calendar year D. Quality of care (if you answered A, C, or D do not complete the rest of this form)." http://www.nursinghumor.com/form ****************************************************** Horrible Mistake, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"There was a horrible mistake at the hospital. A man who was scheduled for a vasectomy was instead given a sex change operation." http://www.nursinghumor.com/horrible ****************************************************** Hospital Bills, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"On my way out of the hospital I stopped by the office to pay my bill." http://www.nursinghumor.com/bills ****************************************************** House Keeper, The, Viagra Jokes, Pharmacy Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/keeper ****************************************************** How Cats Are Like Women, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.how.cats.are.like.women.htm ****************************************************** How Long? Emergency Department Jokes, Medical Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/how ****************************************************** How Many Nurses Does It Take To Change A Light Bulb?"None, they just have a nursing assistant do it. As much as the doctor orders. http://www.nursinghumor.com/change ****************************************************** How Much Do You Charge? Lawyers Jokes, Attorney Humor:"A man walked into a lawyer's office and inquired about the lawyer's rates." http://www.jocularity.com/charge ****************************************************** How Much Will It Hurt, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Obstetrics & Pregnancy Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/hurt ****************************************************** I'd Like To Get Married Please, Marriage Jokes, Relationship Humor:""Your honor, " explained the young man, "I'd like to get married, please." "All right, what is your age?" "I'm 22, sir." "And the age of the bride?" "She's 15, sir." http://www.nursinghumor.com/please ****************************************************** If Men Got Pregnant, Battle Of The Sexes Jokes, Pregnancy Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/pregnant ****************************************************** It Can't Be Mine! Labor & Delivery Jokes, Paternity Humor:"After the baby was born, the panicked Japanese father went to see the obstetrician. "Doctor," he said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can't possibly be mine." http://www.nursinghumor.com/mine ****************************************************** It Hurts All Over, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:" A young woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman." http://www.nursinghumor.com/over ****************************************************** It's Mighty Dark In Here, Infidelity Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/here/ ****************************************************** Jesus Is Watching You, Pet Jokes, Animal Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.jesus.is.watching.you.htm ****************************************************** The Joke Archive:"You know all those silly sheets that float around your office??? Well, here is an ever-growing collection of them. Now, a word of caution here... there may be material you find offensive. It is not my intention to offend you but to brighten your day, so please remember that before you write me that flaming email. There are now over 1800 unique jokes on this site, but not all are suitable for children. They are, however, all worth a laugh!" http://www.joke-archives.com/ ****************************************************** Jokedigest.com:"Go to our Daily Jokes Archive to enjoy more hilarious jokes!" http://www.jokesdigest.com/ ****************************************************** Joke Email.com:"Welcome to Joke Email .com! - for jokes, email, and funny pics..." http://www.jokeemail.com ****************************************************** Joke Mailing Lists, Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/joke.mailing.lists/the.daily.giggle.htm ****************************************************** Jokeindex.com:"Jokeindex.com has always been a pet project of mine. After you get above a few thousand jokes it gets harder to know what's new and what's a repeat. The election helped a lot, but, hey, it only comes once every four years. I was surprised to see that we get a couple million pages viewed every month. Conquent provides all the back end Internet database technology to show our 5,000+ jokes, keeping the site fast while you look for filthy jokes about whatever it is you're interested, or clean jokes (not that we see a lot of traffic on the G section...). Keep the jokes rolling!" http://www.jokeindex.com ****************************************************** Just Like Mom, Parenting Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.about.children.just.like.mom.htm ****************************************************** Keep Off The Grass, Emergency Department Jokes, Operating Room Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/grass ****************************************************** Lamaze Class:"A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant." http://www.nursinghumor.com/lamaze ****************************************************** Lawyer's Hell, Attorney Jokes, Religious Humor:"A lawyer died and immediately went to hell for all his professional sins." http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers ****************************************************** Layman Medical Terms"Medical Terminology for the Layman ANTIBODY: against everyone ARTERY: the study of fine paintings BACTERIA: back door to a cafeteria." http://www.nursinghumor.com/layman ****************************************************** Letter To Dad, Parenting Jokes, College Student Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/letter ****************************************************** Listening Tips, Mental Health Jokes, Psychiatric Humor:"Two psychologists meet at their twentieth college reunion. One of them looks like he just graduated, while the other psychologist looks old, worried and withered." http://www.nursinghumor.com/listening ****************************************************** Little Johnny Does Math, Childrens Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parents.parenting.jokes.about.children.kids.little.johnny.does.math.htm ****************************************************** Loonie Bin of Jokes:"Thousands of the BEST JOKES on the net ! The archives contain everything from A - Z . Random Joke Option as well as a new jokes page. Cartoons, pics, audio, video, pranks, games, downloadables & all sorts of fun stuff...you'll find it all here!" http://www.looniebin-of-jokes.com ****************************************************** Making It Look Easy, Doctors Jokes, Medical Humor:"Jerry was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Samuel Kaiser, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager." http://www.nursinghumor.com/easy ****************************************************** Managed Care, Finds A Cure For Diabetes, HMO Jokes, Medical Humor:"Declaring diabetes mellitus non-existent, managed care companies nation-wide have managed to wipe out diabetes throughout the United States, It was announced today." http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/managed.care.hmos/managed.care.finds.a.cure.for.diabetes.htm ****************************************************** Managed Friendship, Diane Wilson:"Welcome to Managed Friendship, a whole new way of thinking about friends and relationships. The Managed Friendship Plan (MFP) combines all the advantages of a traditional friendship network with important cost-saving features." http://www.firelily.com/humor/quoted/managed.friendship.html ****************************************************** MARY'S "GO TO WORK" BOOK:"This is a "children's book" I wrote one night when I was a bored Triage nurse. Armed with only some markers, a roll of tape, and an old National Geographic, I decided to let young people know what was in store for them if they became a nurse." http://www.rantorama.com/stor6.html ****************************************************** McCann's "Physicians On Scene" Rules, Emergency Medical Technician Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"Assume all physicians on scene are proctologists until proven otherwise. In light of rule No.1, never, ever turn your back on a physician on a scene." http://www.nursinghumor.com/mcanns ****************************************************** Medical Bloopers Found In Patient Charts, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/bloopers ****************************************************** Medindia.net, Medical Humor: http://www.medindia.net/Humour/humourindex.asp ****************************************************** Memory Clinic, Geriatric Jokes, Marriage Humor:"Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" http://www.nursinghumor.com/memory ****************************************************** Men vs. Women, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:"While eating out and the bill arrives, the guys will each throw in $20 even though the bill is only $22.50. None will have anything smaller, and none will admit they want change back. When girls get the bill out come the calculators." http://www.nursinghumor.com/women ****************************************************** Met Professionally, Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young woman in a tight-fitting bikini strolled past." http://www.nursinghumor.com/professionally ****************************************************** Mom's Dictionary, Kids Jokes, Parenting Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.moms.dictionary.htm ****************************************************** Monty Python Quotes, Movie Quotes, Comedian Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/python ****************************************************** Most Commonly Used Phrases By Nurses, Bedside Nursing Humor, Nurse Jokes http://www.nursinghumor.com/most.commonly.used.phrases.by.nurses.htm Mother-In-Law's Visit (The), Veterinary Jokes, Marriage Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/visit ****************************************************** Mother In Law's Visit, Marriage & Matrimony Jokes, Wedding Humor:"Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." http://www.nursinghumor.com/visit ****************************************************** My Elbow Hurts, Medical Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor." "Don't do that," volunteered his friend, "there's a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor." http://www.nursinghumor.com/elbow ****************************************************** Near Death Experience, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor:"A woman in a horrible climbing accident was admitted to the hospital for an emergency operation to save her life. While under the knife, she had a near death experience. After a lengthy code, the surgical team was able to resuscitate her." http://www.nursinghumor.com/near ****************************************************** New & Improved, Parenting Jokes, Children's Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/improved ****************************************************** New Arrival, Medical Jokes, Organ Transplant Humor:"A new arrival, about to enter hospital, saw two white coated doctors searching through the flower beds." http://www.nursinghumor.com/arrival ****************************************************** New Ears, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution." http://www.nursinghumor.com/ears ****************************************************** New Password, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Computer Humor:"A female nurse manager was helping a smug male resident access his computer account on the hospital information system." http://www.nursinghumor.com/password ****************************************************** Nice Place, Huh? Nursing Home, Geriatrics Jokes & Humor:"A man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisleway and went to talk with the administrators. The old man started to tilt slowly toward the left. A Doctor came by and said, "Let me help you." The Doc piled several pillows on the left side of the old man so he would stay upright." http://www.nursinghumor.com/huh ****************************************************** No Frills Dental Appointment, Dental Humor, Dentist Jokes:"The Cohens were shown into the dentist's office, where Mr. Cohen made it clear he was in a big hurry. "No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered, "No gas or needles or any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with." http://www.nursinghumor.com/frills ****************************************************** Nurse Hell, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Nurse Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/hell On the Job Jokes, Funny Signs, Employment Humor:"Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents? Beauty Shop: Dye now!Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." http://www.nursinghumor.com/signs ****************************************************** One Last Cookie, Marriage Jokes, Gallows Humor:"This elderly man was at home, dying in bed. He smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies baking. He wanted one last cookie before he died." http://www.nursinghumor.com/cookie ****************************************************** Out Of The Mouths Of Babes, Children's Jokes, Parenting Humor:"1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10. 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Michael, 14. 3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14" http://www.nursinghumor.com/babes ****************************************************** Overdue Appointment, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/overdue ****************************************************** Painting of Adam and Eve, Garden of Eden Jokes, Creation Humor:"A Briton, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden." http://www.nursinghumor.com/painting ****************************************************** The Patient Mother, Parenting Jokes, Kids Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.about.children.the.patient.mother.htm ****************************************************** Patient Reassurance, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Patient Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/reassurance ****************************************************** Pay Raise, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Employment Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/raise ****************************************************** Physician's Mistress:"Doctor Goldstein and his wife are having dinner at an upscale restaurant when an attractive young blonde walks by, smiles at the Doctor and says "Hi Sammy"." http://www.nursinghumor.com/mistress ****************************************************** Pope and The Lawyer At The Pearly Gates, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor:"The Pope and a lawyer find themselves together before the Pearly Gates. After a small quantum of time which was spent discussing their respective professions, ol' St. Peter shows up to usher them to their new Heavenly station. After passing out wings, harps, halos and such, St. Pete decides to show them to their new lodgings." http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/the.pope.and.a.lawyer.in.heaven.htm ****************************************************** Pregnancy Dictionary, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Obstetrics Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/dictionary ****************************************************** Pregnancy Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ), Pregnancy Humor, Battle of The Sexes Jokes:"Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs? A: You'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all. Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control? A: A misconception:" http://www.nursinghumor.com/pfaq ****************************************************** Professional Courtesy, Lawyers Jokes, Attorney Humor:"Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, a physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys." http://www.jocularity.com/courtesy ****************************************************** Professional Courtesy, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:"A pipe burst in a doctor's house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600." http://www.nursinghumor.com/courtesy ****************************************************** Property Laws According To Kids, Childrens Jokes, Parenting Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parenting.parents.childrens.jokes.property.laws.according.to.kids.htm ****************************************************** Psychiatric (Psych) & Mental Health Jokes, Nursing Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/psych/ ****************************************************** Psychiatric Hotline, Mental Health Humor, Psychiatric Jokes http://www.nursinghumor.com/hotline ****************************************************** Questions & Answers, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor:"Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!" http://www.nursinghumor.com/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/questions.answers.htm ****************************************************** Quick Diagnosis, Doctor Jokes, Physician Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/diagnosis ****************************************************** Radar, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A well groomed and handsome man noticed a woman browsing a nearby isle in a supermarket. He approached the extremely attractive and voluptuous woman who smiled at him politely. http://www.nursinghumor.com/radar ****************************************************** Ran Out Of Gas, Pet Jokes, Children's Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.ran.out.of.gas.htm ****************************************************** The Pro's of Womanhood, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor:"We got off the Titanic first. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours." http://www.nursinghumor.com/womanhood ****************************************************** The Ranks of a Hospital, Nursing Jokes, Bedside Nursing Humor:"Surgeon: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound Is more productive than a train Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Talks with God http://www.nursinghumor.com/ranks ****************************************************** Really Needs Help, Social Worker Jokes, Good Samaritan Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/social.workers.really.needs.help.htm ****************************************************** Redneck Medical Terms:"Benign                                  What you are after your eight. Artery                                  The study of Paintings. Bacteria                                Back door of the cafeteria." http://www.nursinghumor.com/redneck ****************************************************** Refusing Treatment, Medical Jokes, Gallows Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/refusing ****************************************************** The Right Size, Medical Jokes, Surgical Humor:"John was successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered at work by terrible headaches." http://www.nursinghumor.com/size ****************************************************** Robyn and Todd's Wedding & Marriage Humor:"The Top Ten Reasons Robyn Married Todd: 10) Had a stockpile of "Buy one, get one free" meal coupons that were about to expire 9) Couldn't see movies at the theaters in Philadelphia for $3.50." http://www.foreverwed.com/humor/3005.htm The Second Opinion, Pet Jokes, Animal-Veterinary Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.second.opinion.htm ****************************************************** Self-Evident Truths About Pets, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor:"Although cats are rather delicate creatures, and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia. Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner." http://www.nursinghumor.com/self ****************************************************** Sharing The Pain of Childbirth, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/sharing ****************************************************** She's In A Romantic Mood, Getting Older Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/romantic ****************************************************** Shingles, Managed Care Jokes, HMO Humor:"Have you noticed that more doctors are running their practices like an assembly line? One fella walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had. He said, "Shingles." http://www.nursinghumor.com/shingles ****************************************************** Signs (Funny), On the Job Jokes, Employment Humor:"Auto Body Shop: May we have the next dents? Beauty Shop: Dye now!Bowling Alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop." http://www.nursinghumor.com/signs ****************************************************** Six Months To Live, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:"A man sought medical aid because he had popped eyes and a ringing in his ears. A doctor looked him over and suggested removal of his tonsils. The operation resulted in no improvement, so the patient consulted another doctor who suggested removal of his teeth." http://www.nursinghumor.com/six ****************************************************** Sleeping With His Patients, Veterinarian Jokes, Pet Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/veterinarian.pets.sleeping.with.his.patients.htm ****************************************************** Small, Medium or Large? Doctor Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/medium ****************************************************** Sorry, All Out! On The Job Jokes, Employment Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/out ****************************************************** Special Occasions, Parenting Jokes, Children's Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.about.children.special.occasions.htm ****************************************************** Speeding Blonde Driver, Blonde Jokes, Law Enforcement Humor:"A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license." http://www.nursinghumor.com/speeding ****************************************************** Spinster's Will, Lawyers, Attorneys & Legal Jokes & Humor:"An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office." http://www.nursinghumor.com/will ****************************************************** Stern Sibling, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Sibling Humor:"An old county doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother and her five-year-old child." http://www.nursinghumor.com/stern ****************************************************** Strong Medicine, Drug Jokes, Prescription Humor:Concerned about his failing manhood, a farmer went to the local doctor for help. The doctor gave him a small container of pills and told him to take no more than one a day." http://www.nursinghumor.com/strong ****************************************************** Sun Burn Treatment, Medical Jokes, Patient Care Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/treatment/ ****************************************************** Suspicions, Battle of the Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:"My wife and I were watching some TV show the other nite. In this episode, the wife hired a private detective to follow her husband." http://www.nursinghumor.com/suspicions ****************************************************** Taking As Directed, Medical Jokes, Doctor Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/directed ****************************************************** Taking Notes, Doctor Jokes, Getting Older Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/notes Ten "If's" You Need To Know To Get Along At Work, On The Job Jokes, Employment Humor:"1. If it rings, put it on hold. 2. If it clunks, call the repairman." http://www.nursinghumor.com/ifs ****************************************************** Texas Circumcision, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Humor:"A Texan buys a round of drinks for all in the bar because, he announces his wife has just produced "a typical Texas baby boy weighing 20 pounds." http://www.nursinghumor.com/texas ****************************************************** The 10 (+) Rules Of EMS, First Responder Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Skin signs tell all. 2. Sick people don't bitch. 3. Air goes in and out, blood goes round and round, any variation on this is a bad thing." http://www.nursinghumor.com/ems ****************************************************** The Assault, Law Enforcement Jokes, Police Humor:"One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. http://www.nursinghumor.com/assault ****************************************************** The Best Thing, Doctor Jokes, Patient Humor:"David wasn't feeling well and so he went to the doctor to get himself checked." http://www.nursinghumor.com/thing ****************************************************** The Cure, Managed Care Jokes, HMO Humor:"A woman went to her Health Maintenance Organization. After about 15 minutes with one of the new doctors, she went screaming down the hall." http://www.jocularity.com/cure ****************************************************** The Difference Between Doctors & Veterinarians, Medical Jokes, Veterinary Humor:"A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him:" http://www.nursinghumor.com/difference ****************************************************** The Doctor's Visit, Medical Jokes, Physician Humor:"A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old." http://www.nursinghumor.com/doctors ****************************************************** The Memory Clinic, Geriatric Jokes, Marriage Humor:"Two elderly couples were enjoying friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" http://www.nursinghumor.com/memory ****************************************************** The Mother In Law's Visit, Marriage & Matrimony Jokes, Wedding Humor:"Bert took his Saint Bernard to the vet. "Doctor," he said sadly, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to cut off my dog's tail." http://www.nursinghumor.com/visit ****************************************************** The Physician Client Relationship, Doctor Jokes, Medical Humor:"A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to see a gynecologist. The doctor took one good look at this woman, and his professionalism was a thing of the past." http://www.nursinghumor.com/relationship ****************************************************** The Pope and The Lawyer At The Pearly Gates, Lawyer Jokes, Attorney Humor:"The Pope and a lawyer find themselves together before the Pearly Gates. After a small quantum of time which was spent discussing their respective professions, ol' St. Peter shows up to usher them to their new Heavenly station. After passing out wings, harps, halos and such, St. Pete decides to show them to their new lodgings." http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/lawyers.attorneys.legal.jokes/the.pope.and.a.lawyer.in.heaven.htm ****************************************************** The Spinster's Will, Lawyers, Attorneys & Legal Jokes & Humor:"An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office." http://www.nursinghumor.com/will ****************************************************** Things Children Teach Us, Children's Jokes, Parenting Humor:"A 4 -year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant. A 6-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way." http://www.nursinghumor.com/us ****************************************************** Things My Mother Taught Me, Parenting Jokes, Motherhood Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/parenting.parents.jokes.things.my.mother.taught.me.htm ****************************************************** This Won't Hurt A Bit, Dental Jokes, Dentist Humor:"Before starting, the dentist gave her the usual "This won't hurt a bit" routine gave her Novacaine and got ready to start." http://www.nursinghumor.com/bit ****************************************************** Three Doctors Die And Go To Heaven:"Three doctors die and go to heaven. They are awaiting entry at the pearly gates, but first must answer a question from St. Peter. He asks each "What did you do in life?" http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/managed.care.hmos/three_doctors_die_and_go_to_heaven.htm ****************************************************** Three Dogs at The Vet, Animal Jokes, Pet Humor:"3 dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vet's office. One is a Poodle, one is a Schnauzer and the other is a Great Dane. The Poodle turns to the Schnauzer and asks, "Why are you here?" http://www.nursinghumor.com/3 ****************************************************** Three Envelopes, Gallows Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/envelopes ****************************************************** Three Expectant Mothers, Labor & Delivery Jokes, Medical Humor:"Three expectant mothers were sitting in the obstetrician's waiting room. Two of the ladies began to chat about their pregnancies, and their due dates and such." http://www.nursinghumor.com/expectant ****************************************************** Three Nurses Die and Go To Heaven, Managed Care (HMO) Jokes & Humor:"Three nurses went to heaven, and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates. The first nurse said, "I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, but occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven." http://www.nursinghumor.com/die ****************************************************** To BE or Not to BE? or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Barium Enema:"You know there just aren't enough good stories about barium enemas. (Or as the medical profession prefers to call them, BE's)." http://marriedadults.com/bariumenema.php ****************************************************** To Smart Women Everywhere, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relationship Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/smart ****************************************************** Too Late, Doctors Jokes, Gallows Humor:"The orthopedic surgeon I work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items." http://www.nursinghumor.com/late ****************************************************** Top 12 Signs You've Joined a Cheap HMO, Managed Care (HMO) Humor:"12. Staff physicians include Dr. Who, Dr. Kevorkian, and Dr. Demento. 11. Your kidney transplant surgery is held up while your surgeon awaits his arraignment for grave robbing." http://www.nursinghumor.com/cheap ****************************************************** Top Fourteen Things PMS Stands For, Top Ten Jokes, Battle of The Sexes Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/pms ****************************************************** Top Ten Reasons For Becoming An Anesthesiologist, Medical Jokes, Hospital Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/anesthesiologist ****************************************************** Top Ten Reasons To Become A Nurse http://www.nursinghumor.com/nurse ****************************************************** Top Ten Uses for Activated Charcoal, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"10. Give 50mg PO to your overdose patient and watch them add a new Holstein motif to your truck. 9. Use as dress up makeup for Cinco de Mayo." http://www.nursinghumor.com/charcoal ****************************************************** Top Ten Signs You May Be Working For The Wrong Dentist, Top Ten Jokes, Dental Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/dentist ****************************************************** Top Signs That You Are Broke, Top Ten Jokes, Signs of The Times Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/broke ****************************************************** Top 10 Things Only Women Understand, Top Ten Jokes & Humor:"10. Why it's good to have five pairs of black shoes. 9. The difference between cream, ivory, and off-white. 8. Crying can be fun." http://www.nursinghumor.com/understand ****************************************************** Top Ten Lies Told by Paramedics, EMS Jokes, Paramedic Humor:"1. Its not my fault, he kept moving. 2. This might stick a little." http://www.nursinghumor.com/lies ****************************************************** Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say, Parenting Jokes, Top Ten Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/say ****************************************************** Top Ten Ways To Tell You're A New Dad, Top Ten Jokes, Parenting Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/dad Top Ten Reasons To Become A Nurse http://www.nursinghumor.com/nurse ****************************************************** Top Ten Reasons To Date A Nurse! Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"White scrubs are see through. We asses all areas of the body. Scrubs make for easy access." http://www.nursinghumor.com/date ****************************************************** Top Ten Fatal Things to say when your wife is pregnant, Labor & Delivery Jokes"I finished the Oreos. I'm jealous. Why can't men experience the joy of child birth? Are your ankles supposed to look like that?" http://www.nursinghumor.com/fatal ****************************************************** Top Ten Reasons I Went Into Nursing, Nurse Jokes, Healthcare Humor:"10. I love to wear white support hose. 9. I get a kick out of arrogant doctors." http://www.nursinghumor.com/went ****************************************************** Top Ten Reasons To Become A Nurse, Nursing Jokes & Humor:"Pays better than fast food, though the hours aren't as good. Fashionable shoes & sexy white uniforms. Needles: It's better to give than to receive." http://www.nursinghumor.com/nurse ****************************************************** Top Ten Signs of Burn-Out:" 10. You're so tired, you now answer the phone with "Go to Hell." 9. Your friends call to ask how you've been, and you immediately scream, "Stop asking me all these damn questions!" 8. Your garbage can IS your "In" box. http://www.nursinghumor.com/burnout/ ****************************************************** Top Ten Signs You Need A New Doctor, Medical Jokes, Top Ten Humor:"- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk." Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts." http://www.nursinghumor.com/need ****************************************************** Top Ten Worst Hospital Visitors, Bedside Nursing Jokes, Top Ten Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/worst ****************************************************** Top Ten Worst Prognostic Signs For A Patient In The Emergency Department:"The Emergency Doctor tells you the patient is "well known" to your unit. The patient: a. Is a nurse b. Was a nurse c. Is related to a nurse." http://www.nursinghumor.com/prognostic ****************************************************** Treating A Cold, Medical Jokes, Patient Humor:"When Pat and Mike met each other on the street one day, Pat noticed that Mike had a terrible cold. "Have you seen a doctor about that cold?" he asked." http://www.nursinghumor.com/treating ****************************************************** Truisms, Sign of The Times Jokes, Getting Older Humor:"It doesn't matter what temperature the room is. It's always room-temperature. All power corrupts, but we need the electricity. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks." http://www.nursinghumor.com/truisms ****************************************************** Trying Viagra, Medical Jokes, Geriatric Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/trying ****************************************************** Twas The Night of A Birth, It's Hard To Live With A Nurse, Nursing Jokes & Humor:"Twas the night of a birth, when all through the house, Not a person was stirring, not even my spouse. The wet clothes were hung by the wood stove with care, In hopes that our electricity bill soon we could bear. http://www.nursinghumor.com/twas ****************************************************** Unwind.com, Joke Archives:"According to researchers, laughter increases relaxation and helps calm muscle tension. So give your body a break and enjoy Jokes & Funnies from Unwind.com! Please note that some of the humor, funnies and jokes found at Jokes-Funnies are risqué and intended for a mature audience. If you're interested in contributing to the Most Embarrassing Stories section of Jokes-Funnies.com, please click here. If you enjoy Jokes-Funnies.com, please tell a friend and be sure to Bookmark Us and visit again!" http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/ ****************************************************** Useless Boob, Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Relgious Humor:"And God created woman and she had three breasts. He then asked the woman, "Is there anything you'd like to have changed?" http://www.nursinghumor.com/useless ****************************************************** Warnings That Should Come With A Wedding Ring, Marriage Jokes, Getting Married Humor:"10. WARNING: Leading cause of obesity. 9. WARNING: Comes complete with your choice of nagging wife or lazy husband." http://www.nursinghumor.com/warnings ****************************************************** Viagra Funnies, Drug Jokes, Prescription Humor:"What happened to the 85 year old man that got a viagra pill stuck in his throat?" http://www.nursinghumor.com/funnies ****************************************************** Virtually Deaf? Getting Older Jokes, Medical Humor:"An elderly gentleman finally invested in a hearing aid after becoming virtually deaf. It was one of those invisible hearing aids. Soon after, he went for a check-up." http://www.nursinghumor.com/deaf ****************************************************** What She Has, Getting Older Jokes, Geriatrics Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/has ****************************************************** When The Baby Cries, Infertility Jokes, Geriatrics Humor:"With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65-year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family. When they ask to see the baby, the 65-year old mother says, "not yet." http://www.nursinghumor.com/cries ****************************************************** Who Brews? Battle of The Sexes Jokes, Marriage Humor:"A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." http://www.nursinghumor.com/brews ****************************************************** Why Dogs Are Better Than Cats As Pets, Animal Jokes, Pet & Veterinary Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/animal.veterinary.pet.why.dogs.are.better.than.cats.as.pets.htm ****************************************************** The Wisdom of A Navajo Man, Indian Jokes, Marriage Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/navajo ****************************************************** Wishing For Smarts, Nursing Jokes, EMS Humor: http://www.nursinghumor.com/smarts ****************************************************** Workjoke.com:"Jokes about the professions of the twenty-first century. Accountants, Actuaries, Advertisers, Applicants, Artists, Bankers, Bartenders, Biologists, Chemists, Computers' support staff, Consultants, Dentists, Doctors, Economists, Engineers, Everyone else , Farmers, Firefighters, Hoteliers, Insurance Agents, Internet service providers, Journalists, Judges, Labor Relations, Lawyers, Linguists, Managers, Mathematicians, Merchants, Musicians, Nurses, Pharmacists, Philosophers, Physicists, Pilots and Stewards, Policemen, Post Office Workers, Programmers, Psychologists and Psychiatrists, Publishers, Salespeople, Social Workers, Statisticians, Stockbrokers, Tax Advisors and Tax Auditors, Teachers, Technicians, Tourists Guides, Waiters, Zookeepers." http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm ****************************************************** Wrong One, Emergency Department Jokes, Physician Humor:"A man comes into the ER yelling, "My wife's going to have her baby in the cab!" http://www.nursinghumor.com/one ****************************************************** You Might Be A Cop If..., You Might Be If Jokes, Law Enforcement-Police Humor:"You have the bladder capacity of five people. You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience. You believe that 25% of people are a waste of protoplasm." http://www.nursinghumor.com/ ****************************************************** You Might Be A Mom If . . ., Parenting Jokes, Motherhood Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/mom ****************************************************** You Might Be A Nurse Midwife If, Nursing & Medical Jokes & Humor:"If you use more super glue on women's bottoms than your broken china.......you might be a midwife If you've ever crocheted with an amni hook.......you might be a midwife If you carry more tanks in you car than a Jacque Cousteau documentary.......you might be a midwife http://www.nursinghumor.com/midwife ****************************************************** You Might Be An Emergency Room (ER) Nurse If . . . Bedside Nursing Jokes, Emergency Department (ED) Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/you.might.be.an.emergency.room.er.nurse.if.htm ****************************************************** You Might Be an E.R. Volunteer if, Emergency Department Jokes, You Might Be Humor:"1) Your immune system attacks a dog crossing your front garden. 2) You have delusions of being an emergency doctor." http://www.nursinghumor.com/volunteer ****************************************************** You Might Be Having A Bad Day If . . , Top Ten Jokes, You Might Be . . If. . Humor: http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/you.might.be.having.a.bad.day.if.htm You Might Be Done With College If . .:" 1. 8:00 am is not early. 2. You haven't seen a soap opera in over a year. 3. Your potted plants stay alive." http://www.nursinghumor.com/done You Might Be An Emergency Room (ER) Nurse If . . . Bedside Nursing Jokes, Emergency Department (ED) Humor http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/you.might.be.an.emergency.room.er.nurse.if.htm ****************************************************** You Might Be A Mom If . . ., Parenting Jokes, Motherhood Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/mom ****************************************************** You Might Be A Nurse Midwife If... http://www.nursinghumor.com/you.might.be.a/nurse.midwife.if.htm ****************************************************** You Might be a College Student If, College Comedy, Student Jokes, Education Humor:"1. If you have ever price shopped for Top Ramen, you might be a college student. 2. If you live in a house with three couches, none of which match. 3. If you consider Mac and Cheese a balanced meal." The Shortcut URL To This Section Is: http://www.nursinghumor.com/csi ****************************************************** You're Not Sterile! Labor & Delivery Jokes, Pregnancy Humor http://www.nursinghumor.com/sterile ****************************************************** ****************************************************** Nursing Jokes, Medical Humor, Jokes to make you laugh and smile all day. Send a blank email to: nursingjokes-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursinghumor.com Clinical Nursing Cases: Send a blank message to: clinicalnursingcases-subscribe@topica.com http://www.nursingcasestudy.com The Uniform Resource Locator (URL) or Internet Street Address of this page is http://www.nursefriendly.com/nursing/humor/a.to.z.jokes.list.htm Last updated by Andrew Lopez, RN on Saturday, October 1, 2011 This Page is Part of The Nursefriendly National Nursing A To Z & Consumer Health Directories We are Incorporated in The State of New Jersey, under the name: Nursefriendly, Inc. 38 Tattersall Drive, Mantua, New Jersey (NJ) 08051 Our Phone #: 856-415-9617 This website Is © Copyright 1997 - 2011, Andrew Lopez, RN, Nursefriendly, Inc. Please contact us for permission to reproduce. Other products and companies referred to herein are trademarks or registered trademarks of their respective companies or mark holders, and are not owned or affiliated with Nursefriendly, Inc. or any of it's affiliated companies. View My Stats